Be Who You Are by Victoria Butts

I never thought of stepping out of my comfort zone. I use to believe in just doing enough to get by and I would be satisfied. I settled for being average because if I stood out people would judge me. Where as on the other hand, if I stayed to myself no one will have anything bad to say about me. Wrong! Yes, I thought foolish thoughts. Thinking no one would have anything bad to say. “Ok is not enough for a young black girl these days, you have to be above and beyond what people think or say”, as I recall my parents in stealing in me at a very young age. I’ve grown to understanding and believe in just being me, but understanding and abiding by this belief was a struggle for me.
I was the typical “C” average student and was satisfied. I figured I didn’t have to worry about being teased for being too smart or too dumb. I thought things couldn’t get any better or any worse because I was just the typical average student. It was not until the summer before my junior year in high school when I realize I could be so much more if I put a lot more into what I do.
The Illinois Art Institute accepted me as a student intern for fashion design. It was two African American students out of twenty-one students in the program, everyone else were Caucasian. I was one of those African Americans; the other one was a boy who was so light you could mistake him for being Caucasian. When I came in on the first day of the program I was right on time. Everyone else was there and ready to go, making me look as if I was late. I could tell by the snooty looks everyone gave me that I was being judged.
I sat in the back the classroom hoping to avoid the bad attention. The teacher asked everyone to stand up introducing themselves and explaining why do we like fashion. Shockingly, the instructor started with me, and yes I was nervous. “Hi, I’m Victoria and I like fashion because I like the whole concept of putting things together”, I said sitting down. Everyone had the look of “that’s it”, and I became very uncomfortable.
Through out the program we had different projects of creating different combinations such as business wear for working people. I had this crazy idea of cutting women’s slacks like torn jeans then sewing zebra prints behind the open spaces. I looked at everyone else’s design and they were everyday business clothing. So I switched my design into something simpler hoping to avoid the laughs of coming up with something so crazy.
The day of presentations came where we had to explain our designs. After everyone was done presenting his or her creation, the instructor told us that our work was good but it wasn’t original. So she gave us another week to come up with another design.
I came home and told my mom the teacher said we weren’t being original. So my mom told me “then be original”. At that point I knew that if I wanted to be original it would take some confidence to step out of my comfort zone. I knew that just doing enough to get by wasn’t going to get me by this time. From somewhere I found that confidence and was proud of it.
I went in that classroom on presentation day ready to present. And I did just that but this time the teacher knew my design was something that I originally made up. She was impressed, the students still looked at me funny with faces of “who this black girl thinks she is?” And you know what, I found myself for the first time not caring about what any of them said or thought of me. They were going to judge me rather I stayed to myself or stepped out of my comfort zone. But I rather be remembered for doing me instead of just being average. I could honestly say this experience caused me to push myself to another level.
Now that average “C” student no longer exists, well at least not with in me. I try to shoot for A’s and be the best I could be at anything I do. I’ve learned to give my all not caring what people say or think of me. I encourage everyone to push themselves until they can’t get any better and don’t let what people say or think about you keep your true self hidden for ever.